One of the things I have really enjoyed in the last few months is catching up with family and friends in person. I know we have had to make do with tech in the last 18 months but the conversations you have with people in the flesh are just richer.
And it’s made me think about deep conversations. I read an article on cultivating friendships which highlighted that the quality of a conversations is based on the quality of questions posed by those involved.
I think mundane small talk e.g. the weather, cost of children’s school uniforms(don’t get me started on this one ), what is the best air fryer etc are necessary. My natural inclination though especially when I am with people I care about is to want to go deeper BUT within the boundaries of what they WANT to share. There is a real delicate balance between wanting to go deep and being nosy. It’s a balance that I really struggle with and one of the reasons why some of my conversations stay superficial as I am a bit OTT on not overstepping peoples boundaries.
See below a few pointers from the article on asking good questions when you meet up with family and friends;
A good question shows people you care about them and value what they think. It moves conversation deeper in a natural way.
Consider what questions you want to ask someone when you’re on your way to meet them.
Here are several examples:
🔸What are a few themes in your life right now?
🔸What are a few things on your mind these days?
🔸What are you encouraged about recently?
🔸What has been discouraging to you?
🔸How are things going at home (or at work, or at school)?
🔸What are you reading recently, and what has stood out to you from it?
These are just examples and you might need to find a few go-to questions that work for you and then stay curious and keep asking more. Relationships are beautiful when we can share each other’s joys and burdens.
Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.Misty Copeland
Weekends tend to be a time we meet up with people we care about so I hope this helps you in some way to frame or at least engage in deeper conversations. Please also share in the comments any other questions that you think will encourage deeper conversations.
Have a great Saturday and weekend ahead.