I used to think ‘creative’ people were a special breed. You know the painters, photographers,fashion designers, sculptors, musicians, painters, fiction writers, cake artists etc. Those people who spend most of their time creating something out of nothing.

The innovators of this world.

The people who things start with as an abstract concept which eventually materialises into something that you can either see, hear or touch.

I even remember thinking & saying to myself ‘I have no special talents’.

I used to have a deep admiration & awe (I still do) for those ‘special’ people who God has given these talents to.

I am totally useless at drawing, cant sew to save my life, even putting my daughters hair into a braid is something that I can’t do very well.

Due to all of the above reasons, I would laugh or balk at the idea that I could be described as a creative person.

One of the things I have learnt as I have grown both in age, knowledge and understanding is that creativity is not linear.

In simpler terms, being creative is not limited to those who work in the arts or those who are traditionally  termed ‘creatives’. You know the ‘arty farty’ types( very British expression LOL).

I want to you to pause for a moment and think up of a picture of a ‘creative’ in your minds eye. What came to mind? For most of us, it would be someone holding a paint brush in a paint splattered apron.

We tend to compartmentalise creativity as we get older. Children in early education are allowed to explore their creative side by spending most of their time painting, making sculptures with Play doh etc.

As we grow older, we begin to take more ‘serious’ subjects,  those things that enhance creativity are seen as ‘play’ or ‘less serious’ activities. You only need to draw so many dodgy stick men or trees while being able to memorise your times tables and you begin to assimilate  ‘well I cant draw so all that creative stuff is not for me’.

This is such a limited way to deal with the idea of creativity. The reality is that creativity is an essential part of living and is not just limited to the arts. As you navigate through life we can ALL look for creative ways to add value, make better or improve the things that are all around us. Creativity can have an impact on every thing that we do. And I mean that in a literal sense.

You can look for creative ways to incorporate exercise into your life if you are really time strapped.

You can be creative in planning your meals and money if you are on a tight budget and still want to eat healthy.

You can look for creative ways to make some mundane tasks at work slightly more enjoyable. Like the writer Jordan Raynor said, ‘ We were all called and created to create’.

I recently finished a book by Rod Judkins called ‘The Art of Creative Thinking’ and I will be sharing below some very interesting excerpts, quotes and thoughts from the book regarding creativity and how we can all be and are more creative than we think.

‘ A creative mindset can be applied to everything you do and enrich every aspect of your life. Creativity is not a switch that’s flicked on or off; its a way of seeing, engaging with and responding to the world around you. Try to develop an alternative way of thinking that can be applied to any challenge or project no matter how far out of your comfort zone’

‘ Talent is often confused with ‘innate ability’ but many people also confuse ‘talent’ with ‘skill’. A modern creative mind does not aim to display technical proficiency or mastery; it is more concerned with communicating ideas & concepts in whatever medium is available.’

‘ Not every person has the same kinds of talents, so you discover what’s yours and work with them’– Frank Gehry

These quotes confirmed what I have now learnt and refuted what I previously thought of myself, which is that I do have talents. And so do you.

They are not the same as those that others have and could be less but we all have talents.

It also tackles the idea of perfectionism which is one of the reasons I often hesitated to describe myself as creative.

‘You might not write well everyday, but you can always edit a bad page. You cant edit a blank page’– Jodi Picault

‘It is the job that is never started that takes the longest to finish’– JRR Tolkien

Simply put, you can never discover how good or bad you are at something that you have not started.

‘Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture,bridges,street signs, clouds,bodies of water,light and shadows’ – Jim Jarmusch

‘ The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all the world needs dreamers who DO.’- Sarah Ban Breathnach

‘ Whatever I know how to do, I’ve already done. Therefore I must always do what I do not know how to do’– Eduardo Chillida

Creating is in imagining and taking inspiration from what is all around us. The real value though is in actually setting out to DO the things that we dream about.

It is also closely linked to having a mindset that is open to always learning and being willing to fail while we are it it.

‘As well as seeing the value in things that are generally not valued, creative thinkers also see the value in people who aren’t valued. They try to tease out the value in everyone because they know no one has a monopoly in creativity’

And this is the conclusion for me;

Everyone can contribute and add some creativity to their own corner of the world. This will manifest in different ways. I am sure you have heard someone say something or someone somewhere was the motivation or inspiration for changing something.

I do hope that reading this blog has encouraged you in some way to think of yourself as being creative and in turn allow you to see how you can flex those creative muscles in some way this week.

Please do leave a comment and share with others.

Have a lovely week ahead

Much love

Oyindamola

Quotes Picture credit- Pinterest app

Book picture credit -Good reads app

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The last week was a really busy one!

Work,mummy duties,home duties,wife duties and various other commitments.

It felt like such a long time since I had a break despite the fact that I had a few days off work the week before due to half term.

And then on the streets of Instagram ,I kept stumbling on countless pictures of people living it up on vacations in various lovely and exotic locations. And then subconsciously I found myself feeling a bit bleh( bleh is slang for when you just feel not quite there)

I know people say ‘don’t compare your life with what you see online ‘ and I really do believe we shouldn’t .

Anyone who knows me knows would have heard me say it so many times.

My natural disposition is not to compare myself with others but being stuck in meetings all day compared to being on the beach on a lovely sunny summer day can make even the best of us envious 😅.

I know people don’t like to admit it but i believe we all get these thoughts.

The busyness and mundane aspects of everyday life can be overwhelming.

We find ourselves wishing away the time waiting for the next holiday, the weekend, the next party,our birthdays, the next spa appointment, when the kids are grown up etc

I eventually snapped out of that self indulgent state in my head.

Firstly because I realise that some of the things listed up there are not accessible to a huge portion of the worlds population.

Instagram (social media generally) makes us feel that vacations/experiences /living it up are things that we are all entitled to.

Key word here being entitled.

Before I am misunderstood here, I absolutely think vacations/experiences are great. Experiences are actually my thing and I think I spend more on experiences than on things.

I also think travel broadens the mind in such a distinct way. I think the memories you get from experiences stay with you and to me hold more value than anything that I could currently afford.

If a person has the means and time to see and travel the world ,I would always urge them to go for it.

My point was more along the lines of recognising the privilege of vacations/certain experiences even being remotely possible.

There are millions (dare say I even billions) of people for which it is the farthest thing as they are only just battling for survival.

For some people it’s not even physically possible.Even more extreme,some are just trying to keep themselves and their families from being killed as they are living in war/conflict torn areas.

‘You only live once’ YOLO is a commonly touted phrase that is only ever used in the heights of having fun e.g. At a party,on vacation,bungee jumping,at a spa or pamper session etc The inference being that life is only ever being lived or enjoyed when one is having fun.

What if we didn’t wait for the Big Bang occasions to find joy? I don’t believe in the happy clappy philosophy that everyday has to be a ‘happy’ one. Some days are not just not that great and that’s ok.

It’s impossible to live life on a constant ‘high’.

Life can be messy,hard,boring but I find that it is so much bearable if we go our of our way to look for the lil joys in the mundane.

Here are a few of the lil things(in no particular order) that I find bring me splashes of joy as I go through the mundane parts of life and these will differ for various people;

* Time studying the Bible

* When I get into my bed with freshly changed sheets

* My first sip of tea especially on a cold day

* A walk outside in nature

* Goofy conversations with my children

* Reading a really good book

* Listening & dancing to music (I listen to music everyday)

* Stumbling across something that makes me laugh very hard

This list is in no way exhaustive .I even recognise that some of the things on my list are still privileges which is why I am grateful that I have the space,time and ability to do them.

I also find that splashes of joy can manifest in so many unexpected ways. And sometimes not even from things that directly affect or happen to me.I find myself being happy when things happen to others and I see progress being made in areas that I am passionate about. A new law being signed, someone who looks like me accomplishing what would have otherwise been impossible , someone defeating an obstacle etc.Joy can also be found outside of ourselves

It is after all what we train our minds to see and how we approach what is in front of us. So my charge for us all as we go about this week, is to not delay our joy. It can be found in and amongst the not so enjoyable aspects of daily life.

As always thank you so much for reading. Please do share your thoughts and also please share this with your friends.

Have a lovely week ahead.

Much love

Oyindamola

Quote photo credit- Pinterest

You can’t escape the constant chorus of

‘The world is going to pieces’

‘ People are just not kind anymore’

‘This generation is just so shallow & fickle’

‘Values are not what they used to be ‘

And these are just a few of the sayings that I am also guilty of repeating. I am especially guilty of the ‘shallow & fickle’ one. Every time I get a WhatsApp reply with ‘k’ instead of ‘Ok’ (but really how hard is it to type the extra O ) my eye rolls are at epic proportions at how ‘lazy’ people are getting.And this is from the woman who always blesses the inventor of copy & paste. and uses LOL liberally (to be fair to me though laugh out loud is actually longer than Ok ) .It’s all convenience at the end of the day isn’t it.

Now I am not saying that some of these sayings are totally inaccurate and I do agree that there are loads of things in today’s world that are not that great.And it can overwhelming to think how can one can make a difference.That said ,there is ONE person/thing that we can actually influence/change and that is ourselves. US,ME,YOU.

Michael Jackson was not really a philosopher but the lyrics to his song ‘Man in the mirror’ sure did have a lot of truth to it. One of the ways we can change the world around us is by starting with person staring back at us in the mirror.

Who is the man/woman staring back at you from the mirror? Have you asked that person how they contribute to making the world better or worse? I find that we often ask of others what we might have not even asked of ourselves. For most of the things that we see as issues in the world today,there is an human element.

And let’s just try to imagine how the world would be if every human asked themselves how they affect the world around them. The truth is we often leave it to others. The government,the institutions,the police in short everyone else.We often see solutions as a collective issue. And yes there are a lot of issues that have to be solved as a collective,that’s how humans evolved and made so many advances ; our ability to collaborate to find solutions to the issues that face us all.

However on a micro and personal level how can we step up by making sure that all our individual actions are not part of what make up the problem in the first place?

For example ; do you complain about how dirty the streets are when you also throw your empty Sprite can out of your car window?

There are so many ways that we can challenge ourselves to do better. I know better is always subjective however there is a universal principle for measuring better that cuts across creed,beliefs etc. For me that core principle is ‘Treat others as you would want to be treated’

I love the quote above by Maya Angelou and have taken to hear this phrase; always confront yourself! And I love the part about understanding because sometimes we might have come to an understanding about an issue that others have not yet come to. We also have to realise that sometimes doing better requires courage which is often easier said than done. I can’t muster up the courage for someone else to do the right thing. But I can challenge myself to do the right thing even if I am afraid.This realisation allows you to give grace to others and look a little closer at yourself in the bigger picture.

The saying;’when you know better you do better’ is what I think of and often leads to me asking myself ,is if I can complain about it then I know better and so if I know better am I doing better?

You can’t complain about the world being less kind when you are not showing kindness. For every thing that we moan about in the world and in others,we need to confront ourselves with these questions ;

Is this really an ‘issue’ or is it perceived?

Am I adding or taking away from this issue if it is not just a perception?

If I am not taking it away how can I (operative word I) do something about it in my own way? If I can’t do anything about it on my own how can I try not to add to the problem?

Take my example of dirty streets or roads,of course the cleaning of road is up to authorities i.e local govt and not individuals. I cannot just pick up a broom and start sweeping the roads if it is not my job to do so but I can put whatever rubbish I generate in the bins. If I want to even go a step further,where there are no bins I can make the conscious effort to take the rubbish all the way home to make sure it’s disposed of properly. So I might not be responsible for cleaning the roads but I can play my part in not adding to the litter on the street.

My challenge to us all is as we go about our daily endeavours is to be the change we seek to see in the world. I know it’s such a cliche but sometimes cliche’s are actually accurate. If there is something that particularly bothers you before just moaning about it,confront yourself on how you can make this thing better in your own little way in your own little corner of the world.

As always I am so appreciative that you have taken the time to read this blog.Comments and shares are welcome

With lots of love

Oyindamola

Quotes picture credit -Pinterest

Brexit -Remain Or Leave

Liberal/Progressive left wing or Conservative Rightwing

Pro life or Pro choice

Feminist or Anti feminist

Millennial or Baby boomers

Christian or Atheist etc

There is so much for us to disagree on these days.And what makes it more interesting is that we no longer have to be in the same room to argue .We could be thousands of miles apart and have an argument with hundreds of people all at the same time.

Labels,sides,viewpoints, opinion,or whatever we choose to call them but now more than ever it seems we all have a side that we pick or agree with. There can’t be s middle ground.Even people who share similar world views eg People of the same faith have differing views on things like theology or doctrine.

We can’t run away from disagreements or conflict as they are an invariable part of life .Even my 7 year old son disagrees with me on the fact that I think spinach is a tasty vegetable.

This conflict is manifested in various ways.You posted a comment on a post on social media.Your opinion.Your take.And then you get that notification.Someone has felt the need to tell you that your comment is wrong .Or it could be the other way round and you see a comment that you feel you just have to ‘correct’.

Sometimes it’s a healthy exchange.And sometimes you see a long exchange of one person trying to make the other person see how their opinion is wrong.And then you get the worse case scenario -personal insults are hurled either by one party or both.

I know,you don’t comment on social media,it could be a comment at someone who is speaking on the television. I know I do that. Yeah i talk at the tv when I think someone is making absolutely no sense and these people tend to be politicians. It could be someone who is a public figure that you disagree with because of what they stand for .Or it could be someone who just told you they don’t believe in what is central to your values or identity. Disagreements or conflicts especially on differing beliefs tends to come into our lives through various ways.

We all have the urge and tendency to want to influence or persuade others to our ways of thinking or beliefs . It’s innate. And because our beliefs and values tend to shape the way we view the world,it’s also the easiest the way to put people into groups.And if that ‘group’ is not my group,then we can have nothing in common.

A lot of times this belief comes from a place of conviction.And I am always a fan of people who are full of conviction .After all it is said that if you don’t stand for something,you will fall for anything. But a lot of times, we don’t recognise that need in another person when it opposes what we believe.

If I believe what I believe so strongly then why can’t that other person believe what they also believe strongly? People will often reply that the other person’s view is based on lack of facts or evidence which is why they need to be educated. This could be true in some cases(a lot of times actually) but I find that arguing or calling each other names hardly is the best way to achieve that aim.

We have given a new meaning to tolerance. We believe tolerance means that we always have to agree with each other all of the time .If they don’t agree(or even in some cases approve ) with us then they are against us. The lines become blurred and we can’t separate the issue from the person.

As Rick Warren rightly put it (paraphrased)

‘Tolerance used to mean I may disagree with you completely but I will still treat you with respect. There’s a difference between tolerance and approval’

I don’t have to agree with you to treat you with respect. Tolerating your view does not need to mean that I approve of it. I could disapprove or disagree with your views but it does not need to mean that I should disrespect you .

And while I agree that some people’s beliefs are a direct threat to the rights of others, I believe those might need to be debated and acted upon in different circles or as a collective to bring about the change required e.g civil rights movement, the suffragettes fight for the vote etc

However on a personal level,I believe that one of the ways we can thrive together in this world is the ability to understand that other people will not always believe what we believe. And even as much we hope that people see our viewpoints,there will be a greater peace in interactions if we can separate the person from the viewpoint.Sometimes we can convince or bring people to see our point but the most effective way to do this is sometimes listen and try to understand why they believe what they believe. We also have to be comfortable with the fact that we can’t always change another’s persons views.After-all, most of us are products of our upbringing,experiences and environments. Besides the world be boring if we all think and view issues alike.

My faith plays a major part in shaping my world view and one thing it teaches me is that every human is created in the image of God. And so while I might disagree with all they stand for, they are still human. I might dislike them but I can’t withhold compassion for the human that they are. Wow is it hard, but it is what I aspire to.And I think it is what we need to aspire to in this very very divided world that we currently live in.

Conflict when handled correctly can be quite healthy but it ceases to be healthy when it begins to stray into combat. So this week, let’s pause at that point when we begin to feel disagreements turning combative.

It’s peace for the world but also peace for our souls and spaces.

Thank you for reading and hope you have s lovely week ahead.

With love

Oyindamola

Quotes-Pinterest

I am fascinated by habits.Maybe because I am such a creature of habit. Yup,I am that person who can eat the same type of food everyday for months. I used to drink 2/3 bottles of Coca Cola a day. For about a year my breakfast every week day was 2 almond croissants (from the same store) with a large mocha to go.Yes I know very unhealthy eating habits but let’s just leave my eating habits for a bit.

Habits are defined as;

‘a settled or regular tendency or practise’

Notice the words ‘settled’ & ‘regular’ which means they are things we tend to do in auto pilot often without putting too much thought into .Most of us just ‘tend’ to brush our teeth everyday (at least I hope everyone reading this does),it’s just a ‘settled practise’. If you are like me most of the time ,you are not thinking of brushing your teeth in the terms of fighting gum disease or mouth decay , you just do it because it’s something you do.

I am just concluding a book by Gretchen Rubin called ‘Better than Before’ and this book really goes into a lot of detail on why and how we can form better habits. One of the things I loved most about the book is how she broke down why all ‘good’ habits cannot work for everyone.I am always so wary when people give other people prescriptive advice on what they ‘should’ be doing.

In the first part of the book she talked about how self knowledge was such a key part in understanding how to form and sustain good habits. ‘ Knowing thyself’ is something I subscribe to and anyone who knows me would have heard me chip it into conversations at some point or the other .Now when I say ‘know thyself’ I am not saying be rigid or inflexible about change.It just means that I think a greater understanding of who you are is a starting point for making sustainable changes.

The image above shows all the 4 tendencies that she outlined.I can’t go into all the tendencies as I am trying to keep posts shorter but based on the above groupings and the explanations in the book I would classify myself as an Upholder. If I am being even honest I would say an upholder with some obliger tendencies which I am gradually letting go of as I grow older. Upholders tend to be people who people can rely on but also rely on themselves.Their motivation is often driven internally and externally while obligers tend to be more externally motivated.

Based on the book and Rubin’s research upholders find it relatively easier(good habits are never easy) to cultivate habits.As indicated earlier,I kinda now know why it was so easy for me to cultivate bad habits. What I have found though in the last couple of years though is that I can exchange those ‘bad’ habits for ‘better’ ones. And while upholders or people like me find it easier,there are so many ways EVERYONE can cultivate better habits.Most people people want to cultivate better habits and listed above are the 7 points that tend to be the recurring theme both from Rubin’s research and people that I know and have come across (including myself).

Let me come back to me and my erstwhile not so great habits for a bit.So even though I used to drink 2/3 cans or bottles of Coca Cola ( I would substitute food for Coca Cola) I have not had a bottle of Coca Cola (or even fizzy drinks) in 11 years. Yes not one bottle/can. I am still fighting ‘other’ sugar battles but at least i have won that one. I substituted Coca Cola with water and herbal teas. And in usual fashion I go overboard (about 3 to 4 cups a day) . I know very over the top.

My point is not really about just patting myself on the back but to emphasise how we all can employ various strategies to cultivate better habits into our daily lives.The secret to becoming better (not perfect) can be found in what we do every day. We can never become what we aspire and dream to be by what we do once in a while.

If you follow my Instagram page you would have probably seen the image below. 

I keep posting this manifesto everywhere because I totally agree with every single one of the points listed.Even prior to reading this book, I can truly say from living and trying every single point that they are true and really work. She just wrote down what I would have struggled to articulate as perfectly as she has.

Until i changed my surroundings to exclude fizzy drinks it was harder to resist drinking them.Except you tell me ahead before visiting I can’t serve you Coca Cola as I rarely have Coca Cola in my house. My husband buys it once in a while but now it’s not even a drink i would go for. And no i am not saying Coca Cola is bad if had once in a while or not as regularly as I did but I couldn’t so it was best for me to give it up totally.

Until I started monitoring what I ate, I didn’t realise how much I was overeating. Or monitoring how much time I spent in front of screens or how much money I spent buying stuff I didn’t really need. Until I monitored,I couldn’t look for ways to do better.

I could give examples for every single one of the points raised but I guess you just have to take my word for it.It is not easy to cultivate better habits but it is extremely rewarding.I am still a work in progress but I am learning to take each day at time and trust that consistency always eventually pays off.

So my last point today apart from recommending the book (find details on my book highlights if you follow me on Instagram) is to think of one area you think you can do better. Think of a bite sized way you can try to incorporate it into what you do regularly.e.g I want to be more active’ maybe try walking 20 mins everyday. Make it easy so maybe walk to the station instead of driving or park at a farther bay.

Before you know it, you are getting more active and it’s something that just comes to you as naturally as eating or sleeping or brushing your teeth.

Thank you for reading and please do share this blog with others. Have a lovely Tuesday and week ahead.

With love

Oyindamola

Photo credits

Quotes:Pinterest

Book pages: ‘Better than Before’ by Gretchen Rubin